Psst. If you’re reading this on your phone my qualifications and credentials won’t show till the end, so scroll down all the way if you’re more interested in that part- I haven’t skimped on sharing my story with you!

When I was a tiny child what made most sense to me was poetry.

My grandmother, who I had a complex and complicated relationship with, showed me that I could take words and create a little universe of thoughts and ideas with them. She spoke only Urdu so I would speak out poems in Urdu and she would write them down for me.

I was six years old.

As I tiptoed through the years I learnt that I could express my angst, my pain and terror through those words. I started expressing my poetry in English, entering a different realm. From there poetry became about penning thoughts and emotions that I couldn’t voice to anyone else.

Here’s my first poem that I wrote in English when I was 12 years old-

As that wee lil’ one, I could see what was going on behind people’s eyes- their deeper emotions, even if they were doing their best to hide them, or were covering their true selves under layers of self protection and survival conformity. I suspect I was able to do that as a combination of innate sensitivity combined with trauma response. It’s really come in handy for this kind of work- it helps me track the nervous system to understand how best to support people with where their emotions are at and empathically be able to attune to what they are feeling.

It’s taken years for me to understand my own inner landscapes and mechanisms- how  complex childhood trauma shaped my brain and coded my relationships and compulsively pulled me towards certain experiences as well as my strength and the skills it’s taught me.

Along the way there’s been more poetry, art (that was a welcome surprise in my early 30’s- I used to be the kid that felt horrified because I could never colour within the lines and I felt incredible amounts of shame from looking around at everyone else’s colourings) and a lot of dance.

This is my most recent painting.

In my last year of university in 2007 I searched for a place where I could support people anonymously on the phone. I’d seen that kind of setup in a movie when I was a teenager and I was instantly drawn to it.

Volunteering at the Distress Centre changed my life.

I’m not exaggerating.

I started off on the phone lines and continued doing that for ten more years, but during that time I also began to volunteer for them for survivors of suicide loss and homicide support- that deepened my capacity to hold space for grief like nothing else quite ever has. The people I’ve supported in my life have touched my heart and each and every one of them has left an imprint.

Early on during those years  I was floundering in my own life, not sure of how to live it or what to do with it and I started a job at IBM. My heart cracked open while I was working there and all the unresolved trauma I’d held back came rushing in. The grief swept me right towards my own healing.

That’s what the Distress Centre did for me, it gave me hope that there was more than feeling locked up inside endlessly bobbing around in my own pit of skewed conditioning and trauma hell. It gave me possibility.

From there it’s been many journeys through many modality’s, workshops, trainings, relational entanglements, life lessons experiences  that got me here chatting about it all to you.

I do this work because with every fibre of my being I believe it matters.

Because I’ve repeatedly witnessed what it can do. How it impacts how we relate to ourselves, our lives and each other.

The deeper I’ve descended into the cavern of my psyche and navigated its terrain the more space I’ve had for leaning in towards what brings me joy. Being part of a feminine mystery school for the last two years has been a big part of that- it has taught me how root into my own depth and nourishment. It has affected my work profoundly- at its core I am a channel for the creative expression and healing that comes through me.

I feel my own centre. I come back when I wander from it, again and again I come back home to myself.

I do work that lights me up and makes me feel fully engaged- work that I am devotional and passionate about.

I have friends and communities that comprise an incredible support system. I go through things and sometimes it’s deeply intense and overwhelming and I am resourced through it all.

I mess up, often, and I learn and I have more capacity for it. My creativity supports me. My body knows what it is like to have embodied knowledge that I have the right to take up space.

That I am valued and valuable in this world- not for what I can do but for who I am.

It’s everything. I feel a safety in my bones that is hardwon and treasured and helps me be my most genuine full self in almost every situation.

Six year old me hadn’t imagined she’d get here, and I feel her next to me right now as I type this, grinning, her arm interlaced with mine saying wow, we did all that? And me, I’m right there with her grinning back patting her on the back, because she’s the heart root of this reality that we’ve created together.

I’ve got you little one.

My Background:

  • BA (Hons) in Sociology major, double minor in English and Philosophy - University of Toronto

  • Two years post graduate training in Holistic Healing Practicum and Spiritual Psychotherapy - Transformational Arts College

  • Post Graduate in Book and Magazine Publishing - Centennial College

  • Grief facilitation for survivors of suicide and homicide loss (8 years)- Toronto Distress Centre

  • Crisis Line Responder (10 years) - Distress Centre

  • Survivor Support Facilitation for Survivors of Sexual Assault and Gendered Violence- Dandelion Initiative

  • Trauma Informed Relationship Coach (3+ years)- Relationship Hero

  • Advanced Creative Facilitation Training (150 hours+) - PYE Global

  • Somatic Embodiment and Regulation Strategies- Linda Thai

  • Movement with Trauma Level 1 & 2 - Jane Clapp

  • Trauma Sensitive Mindfulness - David Treleaven

  • Hakomi Proskills (10+ hours) - Donna Martin, Hakomi Institute

  • Vortexhealing Energy Healing ® - Merlin’s Grace Level (300+ hours)

  • ThetaHealing

  • Hypnotherapy - Debbie Papakadis, Hypno-healing Institute

  • Reiki (Masters Level) -Dan Miron

  • Integrated Energy Therapy Basic Level- Anita Knight